The Momentum Trap

My answer to the question, "So...what's next?"

Out my window, the first snow of the season falls in big, sloppy flakes and I can hear our woodburning stove softly cracking and popping. I love ushering in the new day by peering through the stove’s glass door to watch the dancing flames, cup of coffee in hand.

For me, this past month has brought about some big shifts. I turned thirty in October (!!!) and the bulk of my book tour events wrapped up, bringing a 3+ year project to a tidy close. So much of my brain space these past few years has been occupied by the making of Tiny Worlds and its promotion, having started working on it when I was 26. And now that it’s out, I’m 30! Wild.

Wintery moments from this weekend

So… what’s next?

In many of my book talks and interviews this fall, folks have asked “What’s next?" Each time I get this question, a tiny moment of panic comes over me. I take a deep breath and try to choose one thing to share with the audience. But in reality, about 15 things are swirling around in my brain. What is next?

Here are the things that I usually say in response to this question:

I’m working on educational signage for nature trails at an art museum, I’m thinking about writing a book about bogs, I’m storyboarding several picture book ideas, I’ve applied for some exciting artist residencies in far-flung places, I’m working on editorial illustrations for a newspaper’s climate section, etc.

Here’s what I’m also thinking, but never say:

I want to be there for family members who are experiencing hardship, I want to finally get my migraines under control, I want to open a tiny studio/storefront in my little town to be more present in my community, I want to start a family sometime soon, I want to take a 6 month break from social media this coming year.

All these things are true, but it’s been interesting to see how I filter my response based on who’s asking. In professional settings, I give the audience a more exciting, impressive answer. When friends and family ask, I share the more vulnerable side. And as much as I want to do it all, not all of these dreams are compatible at the same time. So which is it? What do I want out of my life in this new decade?

This was a fun recent project! I got to illustrate a whole bunch of leaves for a Washington Post article

The allure of Important People

A funny thing happened in the past 6 months. Through my book’s promotion, I've rubbed elbows with some semi-famous nature writers, artists, and editors. Some of them I reached out to for book blurbs, some randomly followed me on Instagram, and one even asked to interview me! It’s tantalizing to be seen as someone worth watching, someone who has potential and who more established people are beginning to notice. But it also comes with a desire to impress them, to have them approve of what I create next. And underneath it all is a question: if I continue to pour myself into thoughtful work and push the limits of my abilities, do I have what it takes to one day be on their level?

Sketch & painting for my nature trail signs at Huntington Museum of Art

The momentum trap

While I was working on my first book in 2020, I told myself that I’d take a short sabbatical to rest after the big manuscript push. Instead, I started working on my second book months before the first one had even been published. Then I did the same thing with Tiny Worlds, drafting up new book ideas several months before it was published.

To be clear, I love the book-making process and my drive comes from a genuine desire to bring beautiful books into the world. But I think part of my resistance to taking a nice long break between books comes from this idea that if I rest for too long, I’ll lose momentum. Will those Important People who have started to follow my work retract their interest? If I have to slow down for a few years to focus on family and my physical community, will I be less likely to be awarded those artist residencies in cool places? If I take on a caregiver role, will I ever have the energy for a full-fledged book tour again?

My most recent event: watercolor workshop for kiddos at The River House!

Even though I know it’s unnecessary, I feel like I need to stack up accomplishments while I can so that I can take time out and then jump back into the game in a high-performing way. And I know there are so many other young women in the same boat, who are passionate about their work but also want a family and to be fully present in their local community. I love the way two of my musician friends, who play in a band called Chatham Rabbits, put the tension of being in your thirties and balancing a career that you love into a song with their newest single, Collateral Damage. The opening verse says:

I want my freedom
And I want a baby
It’s all been coming to me lately
The time I have for it is fading
I know I’ve been acting shady

Hiking to McAfee Knob on the Appalachian Trail a few weeks ago. One of the most iconic spots on the trail, and I’d never been before!

Trusting the interruptions

I don’t have any concrete answers, but the thing that I keep telling myself is to lean into the seasonality of life. When I look at the Wikipedia pages of my favorite artists, the ones that had long-lasting careers with consistently inspired output are the ones who slowed themselves down, who took breaks and allowed themselves to experience all the facets of life—having children, moving across the world for a few years, significantly switching up their career for a fresh start, or taking time out for their personal well-being. What if I see these seasons not as interruptions, but as opportunities for growth that can actually enhance the work that I make?

Slowing myself down might mean that I write fewer books and lose some steam with networking and residencies. But it could also mean that I’m given a fresh lens through which to see the world.

What are your experiences?

Truthfully, this all feels a bit intimate to be sharing in a newsletter with thousands of people. But many of you have been participating in my work for years now, and I’d like to be open with you about the journey that I’m on. I’d love to know—can you relate? Have you had major life interruptions that have actually enhanced your creativity or career in some way? Have you felt the pressure of The Momentum Trap and intentionally pulled back so ambition doesn’t get the best of you? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments; I think we’d all be excited to hear your perspective. ∞

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✨ Holiday Sale ✨

From now through December 8, get 20% off your entire purchase in my online shop with code HOLIDAYSALE2024. Here are a few fresh offerings for the season: a woodland gift-wrap option for autographed Tiny Worlds books (see below), two new prints (Lung Lichen and Woodland Walk), and a handful of my limited-edition spotted salamander t-shirts that are left over from my book events. A big ol’ thank you to everyone who shops small this season!

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Upcoming book events

My book tour is pretty much wrapped up, but I still have a few events left in 2024!

NOVEMBER 26, 2024 (tonight!)
6 PM
Book talk & signing
Cumberland Mountain Outdoor Sports
Cookeville, TN
Register here

DECEMBER 2, 2024
5:30-7:30 PM
Book talk & signing for Monday Night Science. This is a free, all-ages event that includes a community dinner, book talk, and nature watercolor activity!
National Youth Science Academy
Davis, WV
Register here

DECEMBER 7, 2024
11-3 PM
Holiday art pop-up party! Come hang out with me and fellow artist Amy Lafollette. I’ll have a wide range of my books, prints, and stickers available.
Hoot & Howl
Morgantown, WV
More info

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November Book-of-the-Month: Drawn from Nature

I had so much fun studying this exquisitely illustrated book for this month’s edition of the Nature Art Book Club. Y’all… this book was illustrated ENTIRELY using pressed plants that Helen grew, collected, pressed, and collaged together. It’s a mind-blowing process! Read (or listen to) my interview with Helen Ahpornsiri and get a peek into her incredible process here: